Gently letting go of the "self" illusion 😌

Sometimes, while chatting with my clients at the spa, I feel a quiet, tight sensation in my chest.

"I am this way because of my past."

"I succeeded this way, so I must keep doing it."

I feel that the more sincere and hard-working a person is, the more they might find themselves stuck inside a "cage" of their own making.

So, I’d like to try and gently explain how this "self" might actually be just an illusion.

The 18th-century philosopher David Hume suggested that there is no fixed "self." He described us as a "bundle of perceptions"—just a flowing stream of sensations like "comfortable," "cold," or "beautiful."

Our memory simply connects these moments together to create a story we call "Me." It’s like a kind of fiction, or a "setting" we’ve created for ourselves.

When we try too hard to protect this "setting"—whether it’s a story of success or a tragedy—it can become quite exhausting. We might feel pressured to be "right" or find our future choices becoming limited.

In a world that is changing so quickly, I sometimes worry that holding onto a rigid "self" might make things a bit difficult for us.

On the other hand, I’ve noticed that people who seem to change more easily often tend to think about others more than themselves.

Instead of thinking "Me, Me, Me," they might gently wonder, "I hope that person is doing okay." I feel that in those moments, the heavy attachment to "self" naturally begins to fade.

In my own case, I don't have many strong personal desires. But even for someone like me, I’ve found that I feel a bit lighter—and things just feel easier—when I’m doing something for someone else, rather than just for myself.

It’s not about self-sacrifice; it’s more like letting go of the "story of me" and simply resting in the world around me.

As we move into a new era, I wonder if finding these "joys without a subject" might become a gentle choice for how we live.